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Location: TUCSON, Arizona, United States

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


A couple of times a year Jane and I teach a course entitled Healthy Relationships. We're halfway through our winter class, in fact. We use the book Loving Well we wrote together some years ago. The course teaches how to take care of yourself first, why events or others' actions do not cause feelings, the reason couples most often have different temperaments, why conflicts cannot be eliminated from relationships, and--most importantly--our technique for healthy conflict resolution. Relationships tend snag on unresolved differences and unexpressed expectations. Affection is eroded by resentment. We teach how to maintain affection by learning how to enjoy the differences that attracted us to our partners in the first place. With a reliable way to resolve the conflicts that always arise between two (or more) people, everyone can have more fun living or working together, as humans need to do.